blunaowl

hydro-homies Answer:

Stabby water

bunjywunjy Answer:

cats eye holes are so damn big, frankly, because the eyeballs that go in them are also, just so damn big.

cats can see perfectly well using a mere sixth of the light a human needs to make out objects clearly, and this impressive ability requires BIG pupils that can collect a LOT of light, which means that cats need a big ol’ pair of peepers to pull this feat off!

so the next time Fluffy goes and bonks her head affectionately on your arm just try REAL HARD not to think about how there’s a pair of eyeballs the size of walnuts bonking around in that lil noggin.

bunjywunjy Answer:

well to be frank, because it takes upwards of a thousand years to truly domesticate an animal! a LOT of work went into producing domesticated animals like dogs and goldfish and chickens, and we can’t just whip up new ones on the fly because of the time commitment.

yeah that’s right, multiple generations of really determined humans spent over a thousand years making this, for YOU specifically! SAY THANK YOU.

but more importantly, no one has TRIED to domesticate raccoons in the past millennium or so because, frankly, raccoons FUCKING SUCK.

yeah that’s right, disney lied to you- raccoons are stinky, aggressive, destructive, and frankly way too damn clever and untrustworthy to ever be left alone near either food or children, making them HORRIBLE candidates for a housepet! there’s a reason why most feel-good Tame Raccoon stories end with the animal’s release back into the wild, and it’s because raccoons are terrible.

the raccoon was a metaphor for white rural childhood in the 1950’s, anyway.

and on top of that, raccoons are vectors for some INCREDIBLY NASTY zoonotic diseases- invite a raccoon into your home and you also invite rabies, leptospirosis, canine distemper, salmonella, and a whole host of really not-fun human-transmissible parasites.

so tldr: raccoons may LOOK cute and fat and absolutely adorable, but they’re wild animals and they belong outside. and also, lock your trash bins.

bunjywunjy Answer:

that PLUS it makes their heads a little lighter and easier to tote around, an important consideration if you’re already dragging roughly a quarter pound worth of eyeballs everywhere you go!